|Saturday, September 15th, 2018|
|Saturday, January 17th, 2015|
|Monday, December 22nd, 2014|
|Sunday, April 11th, 2010|
|Help out an intellectual
I've owed the New Orleans Public Library 70$ in late fees since before Katrina. Further, I never bothered paying it and haven't checked out any books since then. It's really sad because I love the random discordianism of knowledge gained from browsing through a library and having amazing, fascinating literature catch my eye that just can't be found at the wallyworld type bookstores. They are invariably focused on the latest and greatest of everything. To quote "Confederacy of
Dunces": "Possession of anything new or expensive only reflected a person's lack of theology and
geometry. It could even cast doubts upon one's soul."
You can help out a disaffected, lazy, middle-class pseudo intellectual who is being denied access to those unique gateways of knowledge by donating canned goods to me for the Food For Fines program from now until next Satuday the 17th. Imagine if Shakespeare wasn't able to use his local library? I know it sounds crazy but when you're in debt you just don't have money for anything other than paying down that debt.
I hate asking anyone for help and rarely if ever do, because it's just not the manly
thing to do.
In writing this post I almost cried.
|Sunday, February 7th, 2010|
|Gizmo5/Gizmo Project Accounts For Sale
I'm looking for someone with a gizmo5 account they don't use who would be willing to sell it. Or alternately, something with a similar international call-back feature that works in honduras (like google voice, but works anywhere, or through the net). Please leave a message below if you have an unused gizmo account.
I believe this information
will help in transferring the account.
|Saturday, January 16th, 2010|
|Monday, April 20th, 2009|
|Wednesday, May 16th, 2007|
|What's your stripper song?
Your Stripper Song Is
Closer by Nine Inch Nails
"You let me violate you, you let me desecrate you
You let me penetrate you, you let me complicate you
Help me I broke apart my insides, help me I've got no
Soul to tell"
When you dance, it's a little scary - and a lot sexy.
|Wednesday, September 13th, 2006|
|Sunday, March 5th, 2006|
|The onion daily via email!
Dear Weekly Dispatch Recipient,
It has recently come to our attention that news happens more than once a week.
We have been deliberately ignoring this trend for years, but sadly it has not gone away. Therefore, we have opened a new chapter in the illustrious history of America's Finest News Source: The Onion Daily Dispatch, to which it would behoove you to subscribe today.
Each weekday you'll receive a simple electronic-notice that gives you an overview of our newest coverage, including
- Onion Radio News and American Voices every day,
- the Onion Sports page every Thursday, and
- the Onion Magazine, the President's Weekly Radio Address, and much, much more throughout the week.
Stay on top of your godforsaken world each day by signing up for
The Onion Daily Dispatch.
O. Balthazar Zweibel
Vice-President Of Cybermarketing
|Friday, January 27th, 2006|
|no more spam: use throwaway addresses
Lots of websites send you spam if you sign up with your real e-mail address. Signups without spam lets you give a website any bogus address like firstname.lastname@example.org which you can check right here.
No more spam!
Use it whenever you don't want to use your real e-mail address. Messages are deleted after seven days.
|Sunday, January 8th, 2006|
|Monday, January 2nd, 2006|
|Wednesday, December 7th, 2005|
|Sunday, December 4th, 2005|
|Pantie Shots Galore!
The Japanese game to end all Japanese games
A doujin soft group calling themselves “Game Programming Study Club” has created the most Japanese fighting game EVER. 行殺! Spirits (”Line-Kill Spirits”) is a 3D fighting game that features little girls beating up on each other; nothing new there. The kicker, however, is that any damage you do to your opponent will slowly regenerate unless… wait for it… you take a picture of her panties. Yes. A fighting game where panty-shots are the core mechanic. You don’t believe me, do you? Then watch the video. That’s it. The Japanese are done. They can now return to planet Japania, leaving all the people of Earth horribly confused and scarred for life.
The Video is here:http://gpsc.hp.infoseek.co.jp.nyud.net:8090/gspirits_r1_web.wmv
|Thursday, November 24th, 2005|
|Wednesday, November 23rd, 2005|
|Friday, November 18th, 2005|